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 JOKE......!!!

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PostSubject: JOKE......!!!   Sat Aug 07, 2010 12:22 am

Once Manmohan singh,obama,sonia n aishwarya wer going in a train...

The train enters a tunnel.There is a sound of kissing n a slap.When train comes out obama's face was red due to a slap...

All remian diplomatic & stay silent.Sonia is thinking americans r crazy obame must have tried to kiss ash...

Aishwarya is thinking obama must have tried to kiss me but kissed sonia instead & got slapped...

obama is thinking damm it!Manmohan must hav tried to kiss Aishwarya .She had thought it was me & slapped me!

Manmohan is thinking:if train again goes through another tunnel.I ill again make a kissing sound & slap obama...!!

SINGH IS KING
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Sat Aug 07, 2010 11:25 am

I bet u can't stop laughing,

after reading this

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. what is your problem?'

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.


Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.


And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.


Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'


Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy.: 'Pockets.'



Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut


Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum


Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy.: Shake hands



Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent



Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring


Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose



Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow


Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Fire truck



Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork



Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME.


Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.



The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to
IIM AHMEDABAD,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Sat Aug 07, 2010 11:35 am

Short Sardarji Jokes
Joke 1
Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Joke 2
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there....... ...... Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

Joke 3
A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form
He had gone to DELHI for filling up. U know y?
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

Joke 4
A sardar invested 5 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab village!.

Joke 5
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Joke 6
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

Joke 7
19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...

Joke 8
A sardar ji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral
function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Joke 9
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Joke 10
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr: "I've been
promoted as branch manager."

Joke 11
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth....... ......... .
WHY?
because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"_-=

Joke 12
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Joke 13
SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF - I SARDAR,SHE
SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....

Joke 14
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Joke 15
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It"s already
raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Joke 16
Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa

Joke 17
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR
ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING?
HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER

Joke 18
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Joke 19
A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch network is following
me.

Joke 20
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after
deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20Rs back.!

Joke 21
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket
match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Joke 22
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

Joke 23
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Joke 24
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to
you'........ ...Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT
YEAR.

Joke 25
WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
** THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.

Joke 26
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly..... .
Wife asks why...
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10

Joke 27
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly
in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was
driving..

Joke 28
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what
you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Joke 29
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Joke 30
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

Joke 31
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Joke 32
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

Joke 33
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-I m seeing how i look while sleeping.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:33 pm

hahaha Nice Sardar ji jokes..i read all
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Wed Aug 11, 2010 1:39 pm

ty...!!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Thu Aug 12, 2010 3:52 am

The first one was AWESOME : 11:

_________________
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Sun Aug 15, 2010 1:59 pm

The best pran call ever:



"Hello, dominos.....???"


"Yes sir, How may i help you"


"give me pizza Hut's number...!!"
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:28 pm

Santa:aaj muje ajib sa msg aya fir mera celll switch off ho gya.

Banta:Aisa kon sa msg hai??

Santa:Battery low.

Banta:mujko send kar ...Sabko daraenge.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:31 pm

jab gabbar singh ka janam ha,uski maa usko pitne lagi.
Dr. ne pucha kyu mar rahi ho bachhe ko??
Maa:"kamina mujhse puch raha hai ,kitne aadmi the...
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:33 pm

santa us k hotel me murga khane gaya lekin mrga ka eng word bhul gaya.

Waiter:What do u Like To Have Sir?

santa:1 plate ande K father plz..
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:35 pm

Nepali--Shab ye sham shingh ka mobyl kaha milega?

salesmn--pata nahi.

Nepali--Shabji paper me ad to isi dukan ka hai..

salesmn--Abey sham singh nahi,SAMSUNG hai..
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:37 pm

SANTA bahut der se chand ko dkh raha tha.
Thodi der bad bola-jalte rho,jab bijli ka bill ayega ta pata chalega!!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:16 pm

begger1:i had d best dinner in taj last night.

begger2:how???

begger1:A man gave me rs 100. i went to taj ordered food worth RS5000,drank to my heart.When bill came i said i dont have money,dey calledd police.He took me outside, gave him 100rs note & he set me free..
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:18 pm

A girl was attempting suicide by hanging

A sardar saw it thru window Guess wat he said??





latakne se height nahi badegi,mummy ko bolo complan pilaye.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:19 pm

pintu was having habit of eating nails of his hands.
his parents sent him 2 yoga guru ramdev baba 4 treatment
Now pinku can also eat nails of his leg
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:21 pm

sardar cal wif:ghar nhi aa sakta car ka sterring, gear, brake sab chori ho gya.

Aft 1hr

sardar cal wif:Aa raha hu,galti se pi6li seat pe baith gya tha.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:25 pm

some indian professors speaking english:

1.don't dare talk in front of my back!

2.both of you three get out of the class!

3.take 5cm wire of any length.

4.i have two daughters.Both of them are girls!!

5.all of u stand in a straight circle!

6.quiet..The principal just passed away...

7.why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when i m here!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:27 pm

Qus1 :sardarji agar aapko garmi lage to ap kya karte ho?

sardar :mai cooler k samne baith jata hu.

Que 2:agar fir b garmi lage to?

sardar :to cooler ON karta hu.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:31 pm

Ek sardar bar me betha ro raha tha.

Waiter -kyo ro rahe ho?

sardar -jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha hu.Uska naam yaad nahi aa raha...
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:33 pm

sardar:-"I LOVE YOU"means kya hota hai

girl:-main tumse pyar karti hu.

sardar:-le pagli ek question kya puchha tu to pyar kar baithi...
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:36 pm

if TITANIC was made in india.

1.der wud b 10 times more people on d ship

2.hero n heroin wud float fr 4 days n stil survive but d vilan wud die in d 1st dip.

3.d iceberg wudb set by d Heroin's father.

4.women wud not float due 2 heavy designer saree.

5.half of d rescu boats wud b reserved fr sc/st/obc
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Tue Aug 24, 2010 12:27 am

musharaf:very sorry to hear abt bomb blast at whitehouse at 8 this moring.

obama:nothing happened here.

musf:wats the time?

obama:7am

musf:srry,ill cal u l8er.
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Tue Aug 24, 2010 12:32 am

sardar called home from mujmbai.
sardar:Hello who's there?

servant:new servent of the house.

sardar:wats ur madam doing?

sardar:stupid i m her husband caling from mumbai,dats sum1 else.do 1 thing,kill them both.

servent went 2 bedroom & shot both.

servent:sir,i killed them.

sardar:gud now throw the bodies in our swimming pool.

servant:but sir,there is non swimming pool in our house.

sardar:SORRY WRONG NUMBER.....!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Wed Aug 25, 2010 6:02 am

Jay

Nice joke :)
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PostSubject: Re: JOKE......!!!   Wed Aug 25, 2010 12:25 pm

thanx raghu...!!
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